The Confession

Sir,
The below was found by our people looking into the latest from this player.  I would highly recommend that it is time to put this one to rest.  There are many others who can and do fill the same role. Whether this effort was successful in reorienting back to the fold is somewhat irrelevant to my mind.  Better safe than sorry.

These words are written for my own benefit, they will never be seen by anyone but me.  I am doing this simply so that I can and be done with it and ideally never need to bother again.  This is something that was recommended to me long ago by one of the few who knew, but only lately have I felt the need to actually make use of that advice. It is a very small number indeed who know anything about this, including my closest friends and family who see my motivations as anything from questionably manic and random to perhaps sometimes even heroic.  I hate to play them like this, but it is not for me to do otherwise.

To many I am seen as the one good apple amongst the bad.  I am the only voice of sanity surrounded by what seem to be those of the worst intentions possessed of a concerning lack of reason, not to mention a dearth of what would be called humanity.

The reality is that the entirety of it is a sham, one with a purpose that I doubt that even I understand.

I was approached long ago when my career was barely beginning with the opportunity to reach the heights that I have, the only catch being that I played along with the script as it was handed to me.  I was assured that I would not be directly involved in anything that would clash with my own morality and this plus the enticement of being someone "in the know" was enough to convince me.  I had after all been a great fan of both theater and intrigue.

There was little to do at first, but over time as I rose in the ranks, mostly due I'm sure to the mechanizations born of my acquiescence, I was shown the first pages of the script as it applied to me.  Oddly enough, I found myself to be in the role of one who went against the grain and seemed a troublemaker regardless of the fact that I could really care less about much of the stances that I was to take.  Over time, as I have said above, I became what some looked to as the voice of reason in a madhouse of lies and evil intents. However, all of it is a lie.  

There is a goal that is beyond me and I'm sure beyond all of the players in this game.  It has been set long ago and carried forward by those whom we shall never even have a hint of knowing. Somehow this giving of false hope to those who would struggle against the attainment of it plays well with the overall plan.  There is a method here but all of our individual maneuvers will end up being seamless when it is over.

I've lived quite well with my bargain throughout this time but I find as I have aged that I have started to have some slight issue with it all.  It is a long time to drag out such a ruse and I think that it is laudable that I have gone this long before having to resort to this exercise.  But here I am.

Now that it is all written out I feel that I can move forward with whatever is left of my part in all of this... after destroying all evidence of this, of course.